Time Flies.....

It is true.. I have not blogged since last year. I am sooo glad I did not! I have however reviewed my previous blogs. Hey, I can't deny it, they are good. Filled with the revelation by God Himself. But they were just fillers. I remember the suicidal thoughts as well as the eternal pain I was intensely accustomed too as I wrote those blogs. See last year began my decline of my pedestal I created for myself. Out of my own vain imagination, and false desires that were fueled from my own unbelief.

See, I thought I arrived because I was serving in my church regularly. I mean whenever the doors were opened, I was there. How can I not be, I am Ms. "Religion". As I walked passed you, flowing from around my neck was my "Pentecostal cape" which smacked everyone as I walked by.

What a fake, phony, I had developed into. That image, that image is what almost destroyed me.
That image....

This is an entirely new me sitting at this computer. This is not a fluffy, religious blog intended to prove how intelligent I am in the Word of God. No, this blog serves a bigger purpose, a bigger destiny. I am not here to promote myself. Self is what had me hemmed up in my house for three days straight locked down by a degree of depression I had not experienced before. No, this blog is a public service announcement of healing and redemption. This is a testimony of my conversion from religion to grace and from unbelief to faith.

To become acquainted as well as intimate with the disastrous love of God Almighty Himself. Yep, I said it, disastrous.

I am not here to argue the existence of God. Me typing should be enough.

This is the real and raw Diane. No subject is off limits.

With that being said, see ya!


" I have loved you with an everlasting LOVE"

The Real Kingdom Perspective: The Real Kingdom Perspective: Converted

The Real Kingdom Perspective: The Real Kingdom Perspective: Converted: The Real Kingdom Perspective: Converted : It is Saturday afternoon and I sit in awe of God. Do I have money? Yes, enough to pay my bills. My...

The Real Kingdom Perspective: Converted

The Real Kingdom Perspective: Converted: It is Saturday afternoon and I sit in awe of God. Do I have money? Yes, enough to pay my bills. My children are well, watching Saturday cart...

The Real Kingdom Perspective: Kingdom Ministry (Part 1)

The Real Kingdom Perspective: Kingdom Ministry (Part 2): One thing I love about God is you can not place Him in a box. God loves revealing Himself through His Word. I love how he revealed the F...

Kingdom Ministry (Part 1)

One thing I love about God is you can not place Him in a box. God loves revealing Himself through His Word. I love how he revealed the Five Fold Ministry to me...in a very unique way.

 

Obedience to authority has not come easy for me. My understanding of leadership in addition to its authority has been a thorn in my side. My mother was verbally as well as physically abusive to me. I was molested by two of my uncles and fondled as a teenager in a group home. My father made attempts to rescue me (along with my three siblings) out of the foster care system but plans foiled. I practically raised myself. I vowed “Nobody was going to tell me what to do.” There were also some other choice words behind that vow to seal the deal because I was serious. My emotional and mental pain was too much. There were people I placed in authority over me. (Boyfriend, girlfriends, co-workers) I mean I wanted them to lead me but they failed miserably too. So my search continued once more to find the “Perfect Leader”.

As I grew older, I began to learn about Afro-American history. I saw images in addition to televised clips of Caucasian enslaving my ancestors. I saw white police officers, Ku Klux Klan; unleash unbridled fury all because of the color of their skin plus the need to suppress another race out of their own fear. I saw politicians, presidents; even my own guardians commit acts, sins and not apologize. My own uncles as of this day have not admitted, nor apologized for molesting me.

So I incurred serious problems when I read the word of God which states, “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.” I had real issues with God and this part of scripture. I mean, I witnessed ministers abuse their clergy and not once admit their sins. I saw the weaknesses and sins of my leader and other leaders and I thought to myself “If they are not obeying God, why should I? Who are they to tell me what to do? I hear God too!” I can give you two different cases. David Koresh was the Branch Davidian leader, in Waco, Texas. According to an article in Newsweek Magazine, they were formed from “a schism of the Seventh-day Adventist Church.” One of his philopshies was God told him to have as many wives as King David. Well, God discontinued that by instructing men to be husband of one wife in the New Testament. In the end, he and other followers died ending a 51-day standoff. Nine survivors remain. To make the news current, the Christian Science Monitor reported Bishop Eddie Long; overseer of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church was accused by four men of sexual misconduct. The case has since then settled out of court.

In all of this, why does God still call for our obedience to His appointed leadership?

I am so glad you asked.

 

Until next time...

 

Be Blessed, Be Inspired, Be Whole

 

Diane Freeman

 

 

Converted

It is Saturday afternoon and I sit in awe of God. Do I have money? Yes, enough to pay my bills. My children are well, watching Saturday cartoons as I did as a child. Most of all, after prayer this morning, I find myself wanting more of God. He is changing my desires for His ways, His mind, His heart. I desire to love how He loves, be compassionate as He is compassionate. To be honest, the reality is I have not "arrived" as a Christian. For years I believed I did. See my deception was after the song is sung and the word is preached that is it. I am alright. I carried the religious arrogant essence as an "unconverted" Christian for years. I thought I was better than. I mean, I would be successful, in praying, and exalting His name personally at home but some days I would not. Until this week. Let me explain.

 For about two or three months this year my mouth was shut. That was strange because I am a praise and worship leader. I could not praise, I could not worship. In fact to give you a little history about me, I have singing in choirs for over 20 years. My goal every since I was a little girl was to become the next Whitney Houston, until God had other plans for my life. So in my early year of choirs and learning about praise and worship even up to last year, I could hit the pulpit, sing a couple of songs, give the congregation a performance, go back home and wait until next Sunday. Sometimes I had not prayed, worship, or even told God Hi, but once Sunday morning came, I was in full performance. Did God show up? Yes! (Thank God I was not the only one on the team or in our assembly full of the Holy Ghost.)  Now, after a while of this facade God dealt with me, especially after worship leader left last year to fulfill the call of God on her life. Praise and worship was on my shoulders for my local assembly. 

But to get back to the point, earlier this I was full of anger, offense, unforgiveness between February up until now . My assembly had gone through changes. My divorce was finalized In June and my school this year was horrible. Let's not forget the other emotional torpedoes dislodged my way. This week after God put me on a three day fast with no food, He spoke to me out of Colossians as well as other scriptures! I began to cry out for wisdom, to be filled with knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding. I cried out to God and repented. All I could do repent. Asking God to change my mind because I believed His word wrongly.

All I could do was repent, ask Him to forgive me for my hypocritical, religious pride against Him, my children, drivers on the road, my co-workers, sinners. I repented, He forgave.

He showed me I was not converted. I knew all the songs, close to people in the church but I had not yet been converted. I was reminded of what Christ told Peter, "when thou art converted strengthen thy brethren."

This is why I need more of His Glory: No good thing dwells in my flesh. Oh, by the way because of His unfailing love, I am still confessing my sins and repenting. Father, I desire above anything else, please give me a new heart and a new spirit. Oh how He loves me!

To Be Continued..........